What challenges our feelings of value and significance?
I can’t help but be shocked by that recent article about Demi Moore discussing her recent hospitalization, The explanation of her demise seems to boil down to feeling unlovable. ? A woman of unrivaled beauty, three beautiful children, money, fame, access to enjoy anything that earth offers. Unloveable? She must have made some grave mistakes in her relationships.
Ugh. She is not alone. I wish I could take Demi Moore’s hand, and tell her that she is not unloveable because of her failures, nor is she loveable because of her successes. She has worked hard, and done her best with what she has been given, and that is very admirable and honorable. But there is something missing. We are all born with a love handicap. Our capacity to love is dreadfully crippled, while at the same time, it is clear that we have plenty of trouble accepting love.
Without surrendering to the facts that we are broken, our love capacity is marred, and that we will continually fail until we take our last breath…then we will never feel peace in our hearts. This is why we all grieve in our various ways about missing the mark. And then we go self-medicate in a multitude of other ways to cover up that frustration.
All of us fall short of our own expectations–let alone our spouses’, families’, children’s, parents’, close friends’, co-workers’. It’s pretty overwhelming when you think about it, and it can cause a severe crisis of identity if it goes unchecked. There is freedom in just accepting our shortcomings. But then what? We don’t sit around and shrug.
Consider what circumstances in your life have had a long-term impact in this area. Realize our value and significance can NOT be wrapped up in any failures or successes. It has to be something bigger in order to experience satisfaction in our journey.
Demi is worthy, loveable, because God, the creator of the ends of the earth, purposed her for His Glory, her joy, and the good of others.* So am I. So are you. Finding your roots, your foundation right here is very freeing.
Take heart, friend, in knowing that no matter what is in your past, what screwups you have committed, there is hope and a future for you! It takes one hard step: surrendering to the truth that you cannot reach perfection in any realm on your own. Then acknowledging that there is Someone who reconciled all this for us, allowing us to love and be loved freely in humility, gratitude, and joy. Not because we came to it on our own, but because it was done for us by God.
With deep gratitude I hold this verse in my hand as I walk my journey! The solution to the problem of human love, broken and handicapped: This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:10).
Enjoy your journey,
*This is a quotation from our current pastor. Being purposed for His Glory means that our existence, gifts, and talents point people to the utter goodness of God.